Friday 1 February 2013

Toy Story Part I: Of Mice and Mogs

For your reference, I have put together a comprehensive guide to Mouth and Tail's top five toy mice.

(5) At number five comes Intervening Mouse, also known as The Mouse of Inordinate Size.

Noted for his sheer bulk and gormless expression, Intervening Mouse is so named because his timely insertion effectively prevents squabbles, furniture clawing, food stealing and so forth. His strength lies in his Distraction Strike.


An amusing fact about Intervening Mouse is that the company who manufactured him also made a toy fish of a similar size. We didn't buy one because they were creepy (they had no eyes - what's with that?), but the company clearly used the same fabric parts to make both toys. That is why Intervening Mouse's legs look suspiciously like flippers.

IM's aquatic capabilities remain untested.

(4) Coming in at fourth place we have Alarmed Mouse.

Alarmed Mouse does very little except look alarmed. AM's mere presence is enough to disconcert even the most composed animal.


Points for bringing worry and apprehension to even the calmest of situations.

(3) It's getting tense now. At number three, for comedy value, comes The Label With The Mouse Attached. I'm sure you can guess why we called him that.


The moggies have always preferred the label portion to the mouse portion. Figures.

(2) In highly contested second place I present Ex-Mouse. EM has served her country loyally for many years, earning medals for being Most Chewed and sacrificing her squeaker for the greater good. Although she is now essentially a heap of mangled fluff with one eye and a distinct lack of tail, Tail loves her dearly.

She is of a size that means she is frequently deposited in shoes, water bowls etc.


(1) Aaaaaaand in first place, for rarity value, is Psychedelic Mouse. PM has style. She has character. She is the hippy of the mouse community and believes in free cheese.

Among her many talents, Psychedelic Mouse is easy to spot when accidentally sucked into the Hoover.


We suspect the person who designed her may have been consuming questionable substances.

To follow: a countdown of Mouth and Tail's less conventional, less rodenty playthings. Check back soon, folks!

6 comments:

  1. Just discovered your blog today and love it! I sooo want to follow but I notice you do not have "follow by email" Please put that on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad you like my blog, this makes me tres happy! :D

      I did try to put a 'follow by email' box on my page, can you not see it? Try scrolling down to the very bottom of the page. If it's definitely not there, let me know and I'll have a fiddle! :)

      Delete
  2. All of these mice are well represented in our household. We also have Ridiculously Huge Mouse (what cat would want a mouse half as big as (s)he is? I ask you), Stupid Hard Plastic Mouse (no redeeming features at all, except the name "mouse"), and The Mouse With The Elderberry Tattoo (currently MIA, but very nice indeed).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, to be fair Intervening Mouse is roughly the same size as Mouth (and was significantly larger than him when we first bought it)! No idea why any cat would want such a large mouse. In fact, Mouth is still quite suspicious of it, hence its intervening properties.

      The Label With The Mouse Attached is, alas, no more, following an unfortunate incident involving a hairball. We found the LWTMA cruelly decapitated in a pool of cat vomit. Poor thing.

      The Mouse With The Elderberry Tattoo sounds cool! Do you have a pic?!

      Delete
  3. surely IM's visually challenged, aquatic brethren would be a Fsh (no eyes obviously)

    ReplyDelete