Sunday 10 February 2013

My Cat is Afraid of Bras

I bought a new bra last week.

It is nice. It is pretty and purple and supportive in all the right places.

When I got home, I decided to try it on. I left it on the bed while I nipped in the shower.

Little did I know that purple bras are the stuff of Mouth's worst nightmares.


In his eyes, it was a demonic chest-hugging monster that wanted to devour him.


He peered at it anxiously from the side of the bed, keeping low to make sure it didn't see him.


Mouth considered his plight.

If this beast was to be defeated, it must first be approached.

He extended a nervous paw.




No. No. This would not do. He would need to sneak up on the purple monster from behind and catch it unawares.

There was no telling what it might do.


Mouth reached around to try and surprise it.

With painstaking slowness, he gave the right cup a ginger prod.


Instantly, he withdrew in horror.





Mouth was beside himself. This was a pioneering triumph. Never again would cats be terrorised by lingerie.

He sat on the bra and gave it a good lick, just to show it who was boss.

When I came out of the shower, Mouth and the bra were amicably intertwined. Mouth was even giving his bottom a casual groom.

I was pleased to see that my cat and my bra could learn to coexist peacefully.

Just then, Mouth spotted a dangerous-looking piece of fluff on the floor, and shot out the door.


Well, you never know with fluff.

8 comments:

  1. MOLLMTO! (Meowing out loud, laughing my tail off) :) You could try filling them with crunchy food, too :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I *love* MOLLMTO!!! :D

      I have an all-too-realistic image of my house bedecked with food-filled bras. It would probably work wonders. Or Mouth might feel booby-trapped... ;)

      Delete
  2. Oh Mouth. Clearly he is the bravest cat in all of England. More than ours anyway. (Its a low bar but I digress)
    We're huge fans of The Adventures Of Mouth And Tail and love the way you write about them, please keep writing. Not least because the Sideways Head Of Confusion is now a stock phrase in our house.
    PhilD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PhilD, Mouth and Tail are greatly honoured by your fanship! :D And I LOVE the thought of the SHOC being a stock phrase in your house. Keep reading for more tales of their ridiculousness! :)

      Delete
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