Tuesday 15 January 2013

Have cats, will blog

This is a blog about my cats. I will call them Mouth and Tail.

These are not their real names. But my cats are very particular about their private life, and they do not want to be recognised in the street. In any case, they would probably eat their fan mail.

Besides, national security might be compromised if I told you their names. I have long suspected Tail works for the secret service.

Here is an anatomically accurate* picture of Mouth and Tail:


The reason Tail is called Tail is because her tail is a thing of beauty and wonder. It is the pinnacle of tailness. It dwarfs skyscrapers. In fact, such is the greatness of her tail, we don't need a satellite dish.


Compared with Tail's tail, other tails are mere stumps.


The reason Mouth is called Mouth is less impressive. He has an odd habit of randomly licking things.

I caught him casually licking the wall once. Of course, he pretended he hadn't been licking the wall and started licking his paw. But I wasn't fooled.

He also licked the TV the other day. I wonder what TV tastes like.

Mouth's tongue is a formidable sight. It will lick anything. It has no regard for a thing's wish not to be licked. Mouth's mouth does not take no for an answer.


Mouth and Tail are three years old and live with me in my house.

They are both ridiculous animals. I hope you will enjoy their ridiculousness as much as I do.

*Well, nearly.

3 comments:

  1. I am unable not to read these in your voice! (In my head obviously, I don't print them off and strut around reciting them in a Blessed-ised fashion, although...)

    Also for your informational purposes, old CRT TV's taste like static electricity. The newer ones just taste of plastic.

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  2. @Ben: This is very valuable information, I will commit it to memory for future reference. *nods solemnly*

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